New Caledonia

The flight to Noumea out of Auckland is only 2hrs and 40mins. It’s shorter than a flight to Sydney. Most road-trips anywhere in the world take longer than that. It feels like the equivalent to a short walk to the shops in air travel time, but it’s all for the better as it means you have more time to play in the world’s biggest reef.

Noumea is the capital of New Caledonia and is a good place to visit if you want a bit of everything. Noumea looks like it was at the height of its luxury in the early ’90’s and has since experienced a bit of a decline. It’s like to a modern-day Cuba without all the political hooplah. Miami Vice could have been shot there a few years ago. Much tender loving care is needed in this city to get it back on par with some of the world’s other must-see holiday locations, but in saying that it has its gems if you know where to look.

The city has two major bays to stay in: Anse Vata and Citron Bay, both a 10min car trip away from the city. Anse Vata is home to a few good hotels, the best being Le Meridien, Coral Palms and Nouvata Park Hotel in that order. Le Meridien shares a beach with the now-dilapidated Club Med Noumea, which was literally being knocked down while we were there. Its pool grounds roll onto a small white-sand beach with warm swimming water and a long wharf where you can board fishing and diving charters.

Coral Palms is a bure-style hotel based on a private island 15mins boat ride from Anse Vata beach. Its quite spendy, but the luxury accommodation will more than satisfy your privacy and relaxation requirements. As well as having an island-full of beaches to swim at, the hotel has a full compliment of pools, restaurants and bars so you’ll never want for much.

Nouvata Park is the last of my recommendations and it is more of a typical hotel. Three towers surround a huge snaking pool with the usual deck chairs and loungers dotted around it. The rooms vary between 2 and 4 star and the restaurant serves good worldwide cuisine, not just the typical French fare that some visitors expect.

On that note, eating in Noumea is fun. For a sweet tooth like me it’s paradise, as the locals have a penchant for mountains of fake whipped cream on everything. Small ice creams can turn into super-sized monoliths when topped with the stuff. I loved it.

Proper grown-up dining is good, too. Citron bay has a great variety of restaurants, bordering on fine dining but more family-oriented and well priced. To that end, Noumea isn’t the expensive holiday destination as people say it is. It’s the little things that are a bit pricey, but not the big items. Ice Creams are about double what you’d expect to pay (I learned this the hard way) but dinners, wine, shopping etc is averagely priced. The pick of the shops in the city is Petit Bateau: an entire shops-worth of this fine French-made product. There’s also an Hermes store there but it looks like it gets the dregs of all the other stores around the world.

You can take a mini-train trip around the island, which takes 2hrs and has commentary in French, English and Japanese. This is a good way to get a glimpse of what the island holds, including museums, aquariums (the new one is about to open) and the country’s main source of income: a nickel plant on the island’s west side.

There are lots of small charter businesses operating around the island and Anse Vata has a good travel shop that can book a whole myriad of these for you. We booked a 3hr fishing charter that left from outside Le Meridien and was a good way to see the island’s exterior as well as have some fun. Other day trips include a boat trip to the lighthouse, which is located on its own island 45mins away, and a more world-renowned favourite is the Isle of Pines, 80km from Anse Vata but well worth the trip.